Dreams and PTSD

My name is Cristina D. Johnson

It's not uncommon for people with PTSD to have nightmares - usually of their traumas. I have rarely had that problem because of my DID - because of my dissociation and disconnection from the things that happened to me. Sometimes I wish I could or would dream of them. I wish I could be angry or hurt about them but it's just not there...not yet anyway.

But recent events I am connected to and last night I had three dreams of "him" - one a horrible nightmare - all three, bad. I have learned a lot about dreams over the past year and fully believe in their symbolism. My former therapist used to interpret dreams and it always made sense. It was also almost always exactly what dreammoods.com would say.

***Trigger Warning***
In the worst dream, I was on a table and he was raping me - orally (which I find significant) - and there were people there holding me down who seemed to be friends of his or something. The only person in the dream that I recognized was his mother who was holding my feet and did a couple of other things that were too graphic for me to put here. Anyway, he was vicious and brutal.

Next thing I know, he takes a scarf and wraps it around my throat and kills me. But when he kills me, I am not in my body - I am standing at the edge of the table as a child, looking on as he kills me. When he killed me, in the dream, nobody else was there. I was about seven or eight I think, watching him as he strangled me. I didn't feel anything.

***End Trigger***

According to dreammoods:

"To dream that you were raped or almost raped indicates vengeful or resentful feelings toward the opposite sex. You feel that you have been violated or that you have been taken advantage of. Something or someone is jeopardizing your self-esteem and emotional well-being. Things are being forced upon you. Dreams of rape are also common for those who were actually raped in their waking life."

"To dream that you have been killed suggests that your actions are disconnected from your emotions and conscience. The dream refers to drastic changes that you are trying to make. There is a characteristic that you want to get rid of or a habit that you want to end within yourself. Killing represents the killing off of the old parts and old habits. Alternatively, the dream represents feelings of being let down or betrayed by someone in your waking life. You are feeling overwhelmed, shocked and disappointed."

 All I have to say is....wow.....