Asking for Help

Writing from my phone again, so sorry for any typos (auto-corrects) and lack of paragraph breaks. Today has been so hard. One blow after another. I reached out to a couple of friends.... Heard back from one. The other didn't respond. (incidentally, this is the friend that he told my financial business to, and who he took to the wedding). No surprise, I guess. He sent me some of the coldest text messages this morning. Cruel. I kinda knew he would adopt the "out of sight, out of mind" mentality.... Just hoped he wouldn't, you know? I cried when my friend - C-came over and left. I told her I love her. It's hard for me to do that, given the drama of the past few weeks. People think they're the only ones with pain... So blinded by their own, that they can't see others' pains. Today, I am in need of help, and there's nobody to ask. Gary has clearly moved on. This breaks what's left of the heart I gave to him I haven't felt this alone and afraid since I was living on the streets. I do have a couple of people who are helping all they can. I am grateful for that but asking for/needing help is not something that comes natural to me. My heart hurts... I just feel lost... So lost. I am terrified.