Sharing

Another phone entry. Had a major panic attack yesterday morning. Just too much happening at once. Plus I read over some texts between him and I and I think that was the clincher. He said some pretty hurtful things. I also had a session yesterday morning, which brought up a lot. I'm so tired. We talked about my choices in friends and partners and how I can't even trust myself. I never, ever imagined things being this way. It hurts so much to be labeled and criticized by people who have no idea. And the things I told him... Oh God... I cried about this in therapy. I shared so much and now I'm terrified because none of it is safe. It was the first time in my life I ever shared so much and now I.... I just wish I hadn't. God, what an idiot! He acts like these extremely important and intimate moments never happened, but they rest heavy on my heart. I was so honest, so open... Shared so much.